Medication, Recovery and shaking hands

4th October- first day out of the hospital

As soon as I came out of hospital I went to my house to pack a suitcase as I am staying at my mums whilst recovering. I was feeling fine until I was looking through my wardrobe to pick out clothes and I started feeling heavy. My arms began to slowly drop towards the floor, my mum noticed and made me sit down saying I turned white and noticed I was sweating. My body was drained of energy and I had only been stood up for five minutes. I felt as though I was useless and should not be getting tired so easily. My hands were also shaking a lot through out the week but had become worse.

On the way back to my mums I noticed the car journey was hurting my neck and making me very tired, it was the first time since my surgery that I actually had to support myself for a long period of time instead of lying down and my body was being jolted by the car when it started and stopped.

When I was finally at my mums my sister and her boyfriend came round to visit. My voice was still rather quiet but loud enough so that I could be heard in a conversation between two people. It still hurt to talk and laughing was near impossible and caused pain in my throat and chest but I suppose it was a good type of pain as it was caused by happiness. 

5th October

Woke up feeling awful, could barely move and when I tried to get out of bed my legs would not hold me. They were shaking as I walked so I had to sit down when I reached the Living room. My hands were still trembling as well. Voice was still a little bit husky and quiet but would get louder every so often then revert back to being quiet, still can't shout yet. I felt as though I was going to throw up and had a banging headache, I was still taking my pain medication and hormone tablets as well as calcium tablets.

Big bag of meds!

6th October

The first time I was able to go out of the house, even if it was only a trip to Morrisons. Was nice to finally feel a bit of normality and like I was not being locked away for being to fragile or whatever. Had to be supervised to make sure I did not get to tired whilst out and about. I did have to sit down at one point and lean on the trolley as I was going dizzy and sweaty. It was worth it though to be get out of the house for some fresh air.

Hair tied back so it did not tickle my throat.

When I got back home I was so tired but I had my aunty come round to visit me so tried my best to stay awake to see her. She bought me my first ever plant, a beautiful orchid. I am going to try my best to look after it and make sure that it does not die!

7th October

Made myself look all lovely for my boyfriend visiting me, had not seen him for a week and he came straight to see me when coming back from Menorca. Did not see him for very long though as he was also with his friend. My hands were shaking very bad that day and would not calm down. Was impossible to carry brews into the front room without spilling them! I was going to go for a walk to the park but had no one to go with me. I took no pain medication only my hormone tablets and calcium tablets.The blood has started to fall off my wound a bit but is still sore to touch and difficult to have a shower as I am not allowed to get my would wet.

Was excited to see the boyfriend.

8th October

Not feeling too great, woke up with a banging headache, feeling dizzy and sick. Did not want to leave my bed so just stayed in bed most of the day making music playlists and talking to people on Facebook. 

9th October

Feeling pretty good today, decided to go shopping around Heywood with my mum and Neil even though my shakes were pretty bad but I just wanted to get out whilst I felt up to it. First we went into Dunnes so I could get some cheap underwear whilst it was on sale, decided to treat myself and went to Boots to get some nail varnish. Whilst I was in boots looking at the nail varnish my hands decided I did not like a certain nail varnish even though it was a really nice colour and dropped it on the floor for it to smash and go everywhere. I froze and was like oh no! Then ran over to my mum telling her what had happened, I started laughing even though I did not find it funny and we went and told the woman behind the till who was fine with it but I felt awful so apologised, bought my stuff and left. Besides having the shakes and feeling very tired later on I had a pretty nice day. The blood is falling off my neck more each day, I am finding it on my clothes. I am still no longer taking pain killers either. 

Feeling better for a day of shopping.

10th October

Woke up with a cold and could not stop sneezing which really hurt my throat. My body had put off sneezing until now and was only doing the build up to a sneeze where as now I was doing full blown neck tensing sneezes. My sister came down to stay for the night so we got to spend some time together. We watched some Dexter and used up the whole box of tissues and my sister dyed my hair back to my natural colour.

11th October

The boyfriend came down to see me and we joined my sister and her boyfriend on going to the Bury light show which turned out to be disappointing with hardly any stalls there this year. The only good part was the brass band. Stayed there for a few songs until I became really tired where my legs became very heavy and the cold got into my neck causing quite a bit of pain. My sister game me her scarf until we got back to her flat.

Me and the boyfriend.

12th- 14th October

Had a relaxing weekend staying at the boyfriends house as I was feeling tired quite a bit. Over the weekend pretty much all the scabs came off my neck leaving a neat pink scar but it also caused me to notice a stitch that had been left there which I tried pulling until my boyfriend made me realise that it was probably from the inside of my neck and told me to leave it alone. Still trying to get used to getting into a routine of taking my tablets.

Feeling very tired, wearing no make-up at the boyfriends house.

The scar up close. Healing rather well might I add.

My next post will include what happened at my next hospital appointment, the full cancer report and what happens next.